


keep on falling over

by triggeringthehealing (froggydarren)



Series: FullmoonFiclet Entries [26]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Derek Hale, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Future Fic, M/M, Past Braeden/Derek Hale, Past Derek Hale/Paige, Past Jennifer Blake/Derek Hale, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Vampires, bad past relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7996096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froggydarren/pseuds/triggeringthehealing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Stiles long enough to figure out the pattern, but he's set his mind on finding ways to help Derek break it, to find a way to happiness. What he's not expecting are the ways he figures it out, or what he finds out in the process - about Derek and about himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	keep on falling over

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Full Moon Ficlet]() challenge on Livejournal - prompt #164: cyclical

Stiles didn’t realize it at first, and he eventually beat himself up for how long it took him to figure it out. He used to pride himself on seeing patterns where no one else could spot them, on understanding things that others were blind to. But this one escaped him, to his own shame and embarrassment, though he somehow knew that it was because seeing what was right under one’s nose was sometimes the hardest thing to do.

It had all started years ago, with something seemingly innocent and lacking consequences. It was exactly why no one caught on to how the pattern repeated afterwards. They all should have known better than to not suspect that the Nemeton had more influence than the strictly obvious. Stiles knew that now, and while he’s finally figured out the pattern, he was still not anywhere closer to finding out how to break the cycle.

There was Kate, first, catching Derek in a vulnerable time and breaking past his barriers, getting under his skin because he was craving something _good_ after Paige’s death. She found out his one weakness, slipped right past it and led him to believe she was what would give him hope and happiness… right up to the moment when she burned down his house. Kate left him not only nearly alone -- Stiles really doesn’t want to think what would’ve happened if Laura hadn’t made it too -- but filled with guilt. That took long enough to shake off, and by the time Derek returned to Beacon Hills, it was still lingering.

After that, just as Derek was starting to open up, and began thinking that there _might_ be some hope, Jennifer waltzed in. She too took advantage of his vulnerability and loneliness, and with help from her magic, lured Derek into a false sense of happiness. Then, just when he was thinking that he could have something like that, like love, her plan was revealed and Derek was yet again left brokenhearted.

They all thought that the cycle didn’t continue after that, not even when Kate came back and Derek was suddenly back to his teenage self. Stiles and the rest of the pack stopped her from having another go around in the vicious circle that was Derek’s love life. And soon after, with Braeden, it seemed different too, finally something that wasn’t going to end in bloodshed.

It didn’t really go that way, even though she wasn’t hell-bent on destroying anyone that Derek cared about. In the end, she still left him unhappy, because her mission to find the Desert Wolf was more important to her than Derek ever could be. It was all just fun, she said, no strings attached and no commitment. Stiles knew, when the texts from her suspiciously stopped featuring Derek, that the cycle was repeating yet again. That was when he started blaming himself for not noticing the pattern, for not knowing what started each cycle, and for not doing anything to stop it.

“You can’t do anything, Stiles,” Lydia told him when he confided in her about his thoughts.

“He deserves better, though,” Stiles said. “It’s not fair or right that people always take advantage of him the way they do.”

“Oh honey,” Lydia said as she pulled him closer. “I know it’s not. But what can any of us do about his taste in women?”

Stiles froze at her words, the gears in his brain creaking to a stop as he processed the thought.

“Maybe that’s it,” he said after a while, when he met Lydia’s enquiring gaze. “Maybe it’s the fact that it’s _women_. Maybe someone else could break that cycle of bad luck.”

Lydia pointed out that neither of them knew if Derek was into guys at all, because not only was it not any of their business, but there was never time for those kinds of conversations while Derek was around Beacon Hills. Stiles huffed, but he let the conversation go, not able to do anything about it anyway, not with Derek somewhere across the country and barely accessible through texts.

The thought didn’t leave him though, not entirely. He pushed it aside, because not only did the hellmouth that Beacon Hills was not let him dwell on anything, but also because college beckoned. Or, in his case, police academy, since it turned out that what he was drawn to most was law enforcement and investigation. Stiles himself was probably the only one who was even remotely surprised, as everyone else’s reactions were variations of “well, duh”.

It was around the time when he was looking at academies and colleges in California with a suitable program that he began getting texts from Derek more regularly. Stiles was the one reaching out at first, asking Derek about the times when he was an unofficial consultant for the Sheriff’s Department. To Stiles’ surprise, the conversation continued even after they exhausted the original topic, and they moved on to others instead, less life-changing and more casual.

 _In case you were wondering, vampires ARE real_ , Derek texted, like he didn’t know that it would open a floodgate of Stiles’ questions.

 _Succubi?_ Stiles asked instead of all the other things his mind brought up -- he could look those up online and in books, after all.

 _Incubus, actually. Damn thing got way too close_.

‘Huh,’ Stiles thought, and something clicked into place right then. The text conversation continued with details about Derek’s latest battle, about other things he encountered wherever he was. Stiles’ mind veered somewhere else though, back to his conversation with Lydia about breaking Derek’s repeated bad luck with romantic partners. Now that it seemed that men were an option along with women -- and Stiles wondered what other possibilities Derek’s revelation opened the doors to -- he started thinking about how to initiate that conversation.

It happened almost by accident though, in the middle of a completely innocent conversation about movies that they got into when Stiles mentioned one that he was looking forward to seeing.

 _I don’t know, all that attracts me to it is the lead’s face_ , Derek texted when Stiles tried to talk him into watching the movie too.

 _You’ve gotta be more specific, it’s an ensemble_ , Stiles replied.

 _The one that plays Martin_.

 _Would’ve figured you’d prefer the girl that plays Susanna, she seems your type_ , Stiles sent, and waited for a response with bated breath.

 _Eh, she’s cute, but the guy’s hot_.  
_We never did have this conversation, did we?_

Stiles paused with his thumb over the keyboard, suddenly unsure how to confess what he barely told anyone in the pack yet, sure as he was about himself.

 _No, we didn’t_ , he started typing, and then he decided to bite the bullet, _about either of us, I guess_.

 _Bi, pan, undecided?_ Derek texted back within seconds, like Stiles’ admission didn’t surprise him at all.

 _Bi, when sticking with traditional gender assignment_ , Stiles types back, suddenly feeling somehow lighter for being able to talk about it.

He had been thinking about it for a long time -- if he was honest with himself, he’d admit that Derek’s arrival in Beacon Hills was an opener to his self-discovery -- but he was still not ready to come out to anyone, not even his Dad.

 _College might change that_ , Derek sent back, _more options, more variety_.

_Is that how you figured it out?_

_No, never did go to college, I did my degree online. I wasn’t stable enough to be among humans then_.

Stiles stared at the text for a while, reading it over as it clicked with him _why_ Derek would’ve needed to stay away from people. When he made himself pull away from thoughts about how bad those times would have been for Derek, Stiles started typing. Before he finished, another text message popped in from Derek.

 _I knew before, I guess, but there was no reason to figure it out. New York helped. Bigger city, less judgment, and being 18 made it easier to get into clubs._ _  
_ _You’ll get that when you’re in college._

Whatever Stiles was writing became unimportant for a moment, and he read over the message he received. It was more than Derek had ever said to him before, even when they’d been discussing Stiles’ college plans. He had a thought then, and typed it before he could think about it too much.

_Wouldn’t it be easier to find out with someone you know?_

He pressed send before he could talk himself out of it. Reading over his own words as he was waiting for a response made him realize something that he wasn’t aware of before. Sure, he had always acknowledged Derek’s attractiveness -- it would’ve been hard not to, Stiles wasn’t dumb -- but he never thought of it in terms of his own sexual orientation. Yes, he knew that guys did it for him, but up until that moment it was all only theoretical. When he’d sent that question to Derek, Stiles knew that it was really his subconscious wondering if _Derek_ would help him out with some practical experience.

 _I don’t think Scott would go for it_ , Derek texted back, catching Stiles off guard enough to make him laugh and then shudder at the thought.

 _Dude no, we’re almost related now, since Dad finally made his move. That’s just WRONG_.

With that, their conversation shifted to a talk about Melissa and the Sheriff, and they didn’t come back to the original one after. Still, it lingered in Stiles’ mind, not only because it took a while to process Derek’s orientation. At some point, Stiles admitted to himself that his attraction to Derek was way more than just a passing acknowledgment of his good looks.

“Lyds, I need help,” he said a few days later, during a study session.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she shot back, smirking.

He glared at her, but didn’t argue. When he didn’t say anything, Lydia looked up from her books, her expression betraying her curiosity.

“What do you need help with?”

Stiles took a breath, steeled himself for all possible responses, and finally just decided to say whatever was on his mind.

“I’m bi. And I think I might like Derek,” he let the words fall out of his mouth, and waited not only for Lydia’s response but also for the impact of saying it out loud.

“Again, tell me something I don’t know,” Lydia said, but her expression softened in ways that he wasn’t used to from her.

“You knew?” Stiles squeaked out when her words registered.

“You’re not as subtle as you like to think you are,” she said with a smile.

“I didn’t even know! Well, I knew about the bi thing, but not…” Stiles choked on his words, still coming to terms with his feelings.

“He _is_ objectively hot,” Lydia said, making Stiles’ eyes widen. “It’s not like it’s a surprise that you’d find all that attractive. And you two have always had tension going on.”

“He hated me! I…” Stiles paused, because he was unable to utter the words that should have followed, not without being aware of them not being true.

“You are Scott’s best friend, and Scott had issues with the whole werewolf thing which he projected onto Derek,” Lydia said. “You sided with your best friend, naturally.”

“I never hated Derek,” Stiles admitted quietly. “I just… it wasn’t that I _liked_ him.”

“So, what is it that you need help with?” Lydia asked after a moment. “I would’ve thought it’s smooth sailing from here on.”

“How?” Stiles shot back. “It’s not like it’s anything more than an unrequited … whatever. I’m back to where I was with you back in high school. Only, further away, because who the fuck knows where Derek even is nowadays.”

“Stiles, you’re nowhere close to that,” Lydia said, and she put her hand on top of his on the table between them. “I know you think you were in love with me, but we never would have happened.”

“Because…” Stiles started, but Lydia levelled him with a glare before he could continue.

“Don’t start being self-deprecating, it’s not cute,” she said, like she was reading his mind. “You’re cute, but you were barely on my radar at the start. After, we were always going to be better off as friends, regardless of how cute or smart you are.”

“But…”

“No, it’s not the same with Derek, and you _know_ it’s not. Tell me, do you have an urge to make extravagant gestures, win him over by throwing yourself at him?”

Stiles paused to mull over her words, and a few beats later he shook his head.

“I don’t, it wouldn’t… it’s not…” he rambled as something started clicking together in his brain. “Lydia that’s it!”

“What?” Lydia frowned in confusion.

“It wasn’t about gender with Derek, it’s never been about that,” Stiles spoke quietly, like he was telling himself instead of Lydia. “The cycle isn’t breaking because it’s never _his_ choice, it’s always been someone else going for what they want. Which, fair play to them, and fuck gender roles, and all the power to women who do that. But it would’ve been the same with a guy! Hell, it _was_ the same with a guy, Derek told me about it!”

“Stiles,” Lydia brought him back to reality, interrupting his rambling. “Stiles, stop, you’re not making any sense.”

He took a deep breath, and his eyes were wide open as he told Lydia about his thoughts in a slightly more coherent way. He explained how Derek told him about the incubus he’d come across, and how it tied with all his previous girlfriends being the ones to hit on or seduce Derek -- with the exception of Paige. Stiles told Lydia what he knew about Derek’s first girlfriend, how it began with Derek approaching her and ended tragically.

“He would have wanted that, to be liked again after that, that’s what made him vulnerable to Kate,” Stiles explained. “And then after that, obviously Jennifer took advantage of the same thing.”

“And Braeden did too, though not consciously,” Lydia nodded. “What was it about the incubus, though?”

“Derek mentioned one that tried to seduce him, how it got almost too close before Derek shut down,” Stiles said.

Lydia didn’t say anything for a while, and Stiles watched as her expression showed how she processed what he said. Maybe she would call him out on a delusion, Stiles thought, but she didn’t seem surprised or concerned with how to let Stiles know he was wrong.

“That makes sense,” she said eventually. “Did Derek say anything else about the incubus, though?”

“No,” Stiles shook his head. “I mean, I assumed, when he mentioned vampires, that it was a succubus at first, because of the whole heterosexual thing, which I was _obviously_ wrong about.”

“No kidding,” Lydia chuckled. “I wondered when he’d admit to that one. Though vampires weren’t on the possible scenarios list.”

“And again, you _knew_?” Stiles glared. “You didn’t think that was important information?”

Lydia sighed, and her fingers tightened around Stiles’ hand.

“It was important. To _Derek_. And equally as important was him not telling anyone about it until he wanted to,” she said sternly. “You wouldn’t have liked someone outing you, would you?”

“No, sorry,” Stiles said, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “No, you’re right, it was his information to share. I’m an idiot.”

“Just don’t accuse Derek of being a liar, or something else equally stupid, okay?” Lydia said, her voice softer again. “He did tell you… well, kind of… now, that’s gotta mean something.”

“Does it, though?” Stiles frowned. “It could have been an accidental slip.”

Lydia’s face told him exactly what he was thinking even as the words left his mouth. Derek didn’t do things by accident, not important ones like this. Stiles knew how the cycle could be broken now, the pattern of Derek’s bad relationships. It only had one hurdle to overcome.

“None of it matters really, anyway,” he told Lydia as they were packing up their books later. “Nothing will change until Derek is the one falling for a person first, and until _he_ approaches _them_ first.”

“Stiles?” Lydia said, looking over his shoulder to the door of the coffee shop they were sitting in.

“Yeah?” Stiles looked up from his bag and frowned at her, then tried to look around to see what she was looking at.

She stopped him, put her hand on his chin and made him look at her instead.

“Ask him about the incubus, okay? Just, ask him what happened,” she said quietly. “I think that might be the key.”

“But when do I…?” Stiles started, but she grabbed her own bag and slid past him towards the door.

When Stiles turned to watch her, his eyes widened at the sight that he was met with. Derek, standing in the doorway and freezing as Lydia stretched and whispered something into his ear before she walked out. Then Stiles watched, eyes wide open, as Derek walked towards him.

“Hi,” Stiles blurted when they were only a step apart.

“Hey,” Derek said, a smile tugging on his lips. “Not a vampire this time, are you?”

“This time?” Stiles repeated dumbly, and then it all clicked together. “Oh.”

**Author's Note:**

>   
> [my tumblr](http://froggydarren.tumblr.com/) || [my sterek fic tumblr](http://triggeringthehealing.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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